Chapter #8 Verse 2: Remembering Love in the Now

In days of my recent, never-ending self-reflection, I'm challenged with remembering my perfection in a world of imperfections.  The perfect paradigm is that in true reality there is no such thing. On my walk through Venice today, my small still voice whispered loudly enough for me to take note as I questioned God about my current path and my future co-creations.  Constant reminders to "be in the now" and "stay fully present" have been my angels' messages as of late but I still find myself in a mental and emotional battle with worry, fear and stress.  Knowing that all of these emotions are choices, the will power needed to break these lame habits is much more than I could have imagined. I'm loaded up with every spiritual tool you can name, my intellectual self is clear that happiness, abundance, co-creation, power etc are all things of choice but I still find myself weakened by the dark pull of worry.  Brief moments of light find its way to my consciousness.  I feel invincible and empowered knowing in my bones that I am clear and I know what I'm doing.  My self-confidence is solid and nothing can shake it. Exhale. Moments later, my mind drifts back to the past, consumed by perceived failures and wrong choices which then brings me to the present moment that now becomes only a spring board to that eery future of tomorrow that looks bleak and reminiscent of events past.  How can I break this cycle which I see so clearly but seemly have lost control?

My still small voice gently reminded me that right now I only need to go within and remember the love that I AM. Even if it's fleeting, keep going back to that place no matter how ma

ny times it takes so that love can be fanned to grow brighter than the darkness. And with each push, with each effort to remember love over fear, love will remain as a constant.  How did I forget to love myself?  Did I ever really know how?   As an empath,  I'm really just discovering how much energy, beliefs and emotions I've been running on that are not authentically my own. To my surprise what I thought was me really wasn't my true self.  Even after all these years of doing so much spiritual work, I get to this place in time to realize that my past 10 years of "undoing" was really on phase 1 of my process.  Like peeling layers of an onion, I thought that I had gotten past so many of my fears only to find that I can only pause to catch my breath because there is more work to do.  With this realization, the wisdom heard today finally made sense to me. As I am "peeling the onion" in my continuous evolution it is imperative that I love myself each step of the way and remember that I am perfect already in a world of duality that is set to make me think that I am imperfect. Mastery of self; mastering my emotions, my thoughts and my actions must be rooted in love.  Otherwise, I don't think this ride will be much fun.   I AM remembering love.