Chemistry at Work

Chemistry at Work
with love to my friend Chem

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Chapter 2 Verse #3-Lunar Eclipse & Winter Solstice

Today in the early morning (1:32am PST) the world witnessed a total lunar eclipse on the winter solstice. This phenomenal event took place for the 1st time since 1638 and won't happen again until 2096. When I think about that date- I realize that I will not be alive here on Earth. My own mortality stares me right in the eye as I write this. But this is not a piece about mortality as much as it is about the true meaning of the life and death cycle. This is such a powerful energetic alignment and means so much for all of humanity. As a lightworker (yep said it out loud) we celebrate such an amazing event not only for the science of it but for the symbolic nature that it brings. This article from Suzanna Bowling of Times Square Daily explains it perfectly;

"The winter solstice marks the first day of winter and the beginning of the return of the sun. The cold deepens; the days lengthen and hope is re-born. In a strange way, the 2012 that was foretold is tonight mathematically speaking. In Mayan Calendars we have always been two years ahead. If you think in terms of numerology, 12/21/2010 adds up to 3+ 3+ 3 = 9, which is the number related to psychic awareness, intuition, prophecy and inherent wisdom.

The winters solstice that is happening tonight can be difficult externally for some, but also a powerful time for spiritual powers if we stay in our most positive highest energies! Meditate, pray, reflect!

During this time insight and lessons will come to us. This is a time about passion and fighting for truth and integrity, to remove darkness and ignorance with courage and wisdom.

Focus tonight on seeking a higher purpose in life. There is a lot of intensity, with Mercury retrograding. The reason the eclipse is so powerful is because everything is happening at the same moment in time. The sun (source of power, our soul) changes direction in the sky, the eclipse is extremely rare, the moon (the mind, emotional reflection of consciousness, intuition) the earth (the body, our physical presence) are all at once on the same plane! Body, mind and soul aligned at the same time! Earth, Moon and Sun -- aligned in the same trajectory. POWERFUL!"

My wonderfully inspiring friend Denise sent a belated birthday note to me the other day stating that this is my "Decade of Destiny." I believe her. So today I take a moment to celebrate myself, be in gratitude of the Supreme for a perfect heavenly orchestration and I fully release all energies of old that no longer serve me. I open my heart to bring in the new- the abundantly new gifts of love, forgiveness, awareness of my divine purpose, unparalleled courage to act, wealth, health and wholeness in my mind body and spirit. I can only hope that as I move into this new energy and way of being that I truly can represent heaven on earth.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Chapter 2 Verse #2- Never Thought Hip Hop Would Take Us This Far

Today is a historic moment for Hip Hop. Common is the host of the National Tree Lighting Ceremony for the White House this year! Anyone who knows me or for those who don't must know that I've been a fan of Common since his first album- Can I Borrow A Dollar? It's amazing to watch the evolution of people. I'm so grateful to have the privacy to evolve and grow without the scrutiny of the public eye. What a train wreck I would look like to most.

2 days ago, I watched President Obama address the news reporters after a significant piece of legislature was signed. It as all about extending the Bush era tax cuts to the wealthy and preventing tax increases for the poor and middle class. The gist of this was about the art of negotiation- compromise in order to reach the long term goal. Many political critics and public opinion criticize the President's actions over these past 2 years he's been in office. He is such a brilliant man and I LOVE the way he verbally slayed the reporter with poise and lightening sharp focus. I've always agreed with the Democratic party that he's had to spend his first 2 years in pure crisis mode. All focus has been directed toward fixing the troubles left by his predecessors and trying to stop the explosion of the country's economic meltdown. In his address, he mentioned this very thing. All of these issues being addressed while dealing with death threats on a daily bases. A statistic ran a couple of months ago that President Obama has received double the death threats of ALL 43 presidents combined in his first year of office!! It seems completely unreal. As I watch humanity's story unfold, it's sometimes difficult to see the beauty in the hearts of mankind. But then in those golden moments when you're fortunate to witness an inspiring speech, or hear a song that moves your soul or see someone give love to a complete stranger in an act of kindness; then hope is rekindled.

Oh yeah, Common. Super excited to see the program today! I just wish he could hit a b-boy stance just for the heck of it!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Chapter 2 Verse #1 - 12:22am The Golden Moment

It is 12:22am November 19, 2010. This moment I just turned 40 years old. It's weird to re-read that sentence right now. Funny how birthdays and funerals make life reflection either an awesome experience or a supreme downer moment. I have to say this is an awesome moment. I am so filled with gratitude to be sitting here in my pj's, in my cozy ocean view apartment at 12:22 in the morning, writing. I wasn't sure what to write but I think I've decided to make this a piece of gratitude. First and foremost, I am so very grateful and honored to have the most amazing parents on planet Earth. Mommy and daddy are my heroes. I am grateful that they took the moment to make me. My immediate circle of sister/friends-I can't be more happy thinking back on all of the laughs, the debates, the vacations, births of children, clubbing, movie nights, shopping, crying over boyfriends, celebrating boyfriends- those that turned into husbands:) Jody, Deyna, Nyanza-girl! where do I start about us:), white Nicole, black Nicole, Big sister Sona, Mystic, Angela, Dani, Karen, Michelle, just to name a few but certainly not all- I love so dearly and have shaped my world in so many ways. My sister/best friend from many lifetimes- Rikki: I am so thrilled to have been able to play together again this lifetime with you. You are truly my heart and words can never express how grateful I am for your unconditional love. Thank you for giving me Ryan and Riley.

And to all the wonderful men that have played such vital roles in my life. My childhood best friend and still my love- Markiest. Your unexpected text message two days ago was a gentle reminder of our bond. You've always been my everything. Thank you for being my friend first- who knew our 5th grade trip to Canada would last us over 30 years. My nephew James II - you are my heart. I couldn't love you more if I had given birth to you myself. Know you're always in my prayers. And now your son James III-its like I get to have you all over again 18 years later. I will never view Michael Jackson videos the same since our time we spent together this past summer. I laugh out loud every time I see a video on TV. Karim, Kwesi, Rod, Kelly, Ern, Tony, Malcolm, Dave, Richie, Thornell, Ali Babu Che- thank you for being my big brothers and for all the love, protection, harassment and jokes.

Lastly, a love letter of gratitude to me. I still have a hard time seeing myself as a grown up but I am so thankful my spirit guiding me to be the person that I've turned out to be. Like most, I spend a lot of time viewing myself through a heavy critical eye and not enough time singing my own praises. Today is a clean slate- a new day-a promise to myself to love and treat myself with the same kindness that I show to others. I'm grateful to be healthy, safe, beautiful, generous, well fed, and happy to know God.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Chapter 1 Verse #5: Love Is An Action

I had the most amazing evening with my sister/friend Mystic. She is an amazing soul and very talented musician. I was please to make her acquaintance in 2000 when my business partner and I signed the music label GoodVibe Recordings. She was their featured solo female artist. She kept company with Slum Village, Martin Luther and a host of other talent as label mates. She is a revolutionary. A lover of humanity with a special affinity for the protection and education of children. A b-girl from Oakland, California, she rhymes and sings through her painful experiences and joys. She is so brave to share her world through her music. She inspires me. She always did and this wonderful day that I got a chance to reconnect with her. It had been over a year since I laid eyes on her and even then that moment was brief backstage at a Hip Hop festival I was working. Originally we had planned to meet at a pizza place near her spot but she decided to cook for me instead and play her new album while we caught up. My favorite movie is the subtitled film "Like Water for Chocolate"- a tale of how feelings infused in the cooking can transcend anything available to the naked eye. Mystic has this same passion. She loves cooking and she does it with such love and dedication. My meal consisted of hand pressed tofu coated with a homemade 5spice seasoning, mixed green salad with lemon ginger dressing topped with a spicy jumbo shrimp topped off with a mango, passion fruit chutney. For dessert, baked figs in a rum sauce and topped with a dab of some fancy sweet cheese that melted instantly on contact.

We chatted about everything. Music, life, friends, dating, food and I got a quick schooling session on the latest revolutions taking place over the globe. Out of all the heart-warming and thought-provoking topics we discussed one sentence that made me stop in my tracks was when she said "love is an action." This quote comes on the heels of me talking about recent disappointments from an ex-boyfriend whose actions didn't match his words. Hence, why he's my ex. As I'm participating in this game called human life I've discovered we all want to hear the words "I love you" from our significant other, parents etc. But I realize saying it is only a small fraction of this entity called love. LOVE is an action. When you do "in action" what you "feel" there can be no better demonstration of what alignment is. And while most of us look for someone else to show them love, I think we do ourselves the greatest disservice by looking for that action to come from outside of ourselves. The great sages of our time have always shared that Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is forgiveness. I'm coming to understand that I must be the one to be in alignment with my own actions as demonstration unto myself first. When I can speak and do love for me, I can then hold the vibration to attract like energy in all relationships.

As I listened to her amazing new album, I watched her pour so much love into every step in her cooking. It felt like a big hug even before I took one bite. The simplicity of sharing music, food and time is priceless. That was love in action.

*Mystic's first recording is titled "Cuts for Luck, Scars for Freedom" - it is a definite must have

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Chapter 1 Verse #4 :Zip- Lining to Freedom

Almost one year ago I turned down the opportunity of a lifetime, as most would classify it. I received a six figure job offer to work in Hawaii being the general manager of a zip lining company. To sweeten the deal, I had a 2500 square foot house to rent from my good friends/brother & sister Dave and Liz. Their home was on a golf course in Kona. I remember sitting contemplating if this was one of God's tests to see if I could remain faithful to my vision I was creating for myself. Sitting here almost a year later I have learned that there are no tests. We create every situation in our life as an awesome gift of free will. I started today's entry from a place of discouragement because I sit here in my cozy apartment in Santa Monica not knowing how I'm going to pay rent for the month. My mind started whirling about how did I get here? What is the purpose of this creation. Regrets from not taking the job in Hawaii are pounding in my brain. For the past 2 hours I've been thinking I could be having the time of my life working in Havi'i, and driving home tonight to my fabulous house right on the water. I realize I was afraid to let go. Maybe somewhere deep within I thought if I could create this surely my heart's vision will manifest. Funny thing is when that opportunity presented itself I had no conscious recollection of creating it. I could not have scripted that effortless scenario even on my most relaxed day. I look back on it and all I can say was that it was powerfully effortless. All I had to do was say yes. In more retrospect, fear was at the core of that decision as I hate to admit it. I was fearful of making a 2 year commitment. Fearful of being lonely in paradise, looking at the dating options were slim to slimmer there. Havi and Kona, are very slow, remote, sleepy towns and I thought my chances for dating or finding a husband would be non-existent. I was also fearful of starting over AGAIN. Fearful of not liking living there and giving up my beach apartment in Santa Monica terrified me. Fearful of not having a social life, having to make new friends at the age of 39. And to boot, fearful of leaving a job that had me completely stressed out and not even being paid to do. Fearful of leaving discomfort out of some idiotic notion that my loyalty would be questioned for not staying in the sinking ship. Fear Fear and Fear. I talked myself right out of what I now see would have been a wonderful opportunity for me to quiet myself and grow. As life would have it, I had never gone zip lining before. Didn't really know what it was but when I learned it was about sliding across the jungle rooftops on a cable wire every part of me was like, "HELL NO!" As part of my interview, I went on the course accompanied by one of the owners. I did all 9 lines. The final line being some 3000 feet above the jungle floor and going about 35 mph over the most gorgeous waterfalls and trees I had ever laid my eyes on. It's amazing how I can trust the two human beings (our guides) with my LIFE on a harness and cable wire in the deep jungle but could not trust God enough for me to take a leap of faith that everything would be alright.

When I turned down the job after agonizing for a couple of weeks, I wrote some poetic email about being inspired to pursue my own dreams and wanting to stay focused on my heart's desire. While that is true, I now believe it was about #10 on the list of reasons why not to take the job. Fear, pride, ego kept me from experiencing what I think would have been the ride of my life.
As I sit here now in this moment, I must fully engage my will and that "walk-on-water" faith, silence the negative thoughts and create the reality that I say I want. I can not fail. I've sacrificed enough of me to turn back now.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Chapter 1 Verse 3: Just Like The Water

Today I had to stop and get away. In the middle of my own personal spiral of panic and anxiety, that small still voice told me to drive to Lake Shrine- just to meditate and be one with God in this amazing garden. Just 6 miles up the road in Pacific Palisades, the great Guru and Master, Paramahansa Yogananda created this lush peaceful sanctuary tucked in the hills of Malibu. I'm so glad I listened. Right at the very beginning of the path is a statue of St. Francis followed by the shrine that houses some of the ashes of Mahatma Ghandi. I decided to sit on the bench directly across from this shrine that faces the entire lake.

As I called to the Supreme and the angels to get centered and to restore peace in my mind and body, I opened my eyes to discover two turtles floating at the surface of the water with their faces poked out just above the water. It looked as if they were sun bathing while afloat. I watched them both as they gracefully moved all four of their legs to paddle around the water with an occasional coasting in between strokes. I started to imagine what they would be saying to each other. My mind wisked away like a child's imagination. The smaller turtle was trying to rest its head and top part of its body on the slightly larger turtle. The larger turtle immediately swam harder to get away. It was as if he was saying " you're already floating on your own why are you on my back!?" At that moment, I thought of myself as the larger turtle. In a very large lake, beautifully manicured and well stocked with food, it has everything it needs for a very peaceful and abundant life. When I thought of myself as that turtle, I felt a sense of ease come over me. It was like God showed up and gave me the perfect conversation while I was watching the turtles interact. All I had to do was sit still and observe. I thought about the smaller turtle trying to relax on the back of the larger turtle. I compared this to the many individuals I consciously and unconsciously carry around with me. In essence, we all have the ability to float in the lake of the abundance of God if we just do a little paddling on our own. Our needs are taken care of if we can just trust that the lake will provide everything necessary for a happy and abundant life. It's not our job to carry one another when we all have the same God-given abilities to float. I do believe we sometimes have to remind each other that all we have to do is paddle and everything is just fine. The big turtle pushed off and paddled right in front of the smaller turtle. I thought, I too must push off and float and by my example I hope that the others will remember that they can do the same. By the time I was finished saying my prayers the two turtles were joined by a third and all were blissfully floating, with their head poked out towards the sun and gently paddling by me. And to top off the moment, as soon as I said my final decree of gratitude a hawk flew directly above me, soaring gracefully overhead into the sun punctuated by a loud call. It was awesome and surreal.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Chapter 1 Verse 2- The Divine Feminine

Today is my grandmother's birthday. If she was still here, she would be about 98 years old. She passed in 2002-she was the last of my grandparents and the matriarch of my mother's family. Nanny was an amazing soul. Funny thing I realized today was that so much of her exists within my mom. Not only from the looks but all of the wonderful traits that I have grown to appreciate and sometimes become irritated by. These past few years, since my grandmother's death have been very trying at best. My mother has endured loss, and heartache suffered by the actions of her own daughter and grandson (my older sister and nephew).

One of the traits I have in my personal arsenal is that of giving. Like most women, nurturing is a trait that is unique to the divine feminine energy. The trick is balancing this out pouring of love with boundaries. When is giving too much? When is it necessary to say "no" without guilt? When are you giving too little? These questions come on the dawn of me having discovered my own boundaries and limitations. I become irritated with my mother as she continues to give of herself to both my sister and nephew who for the most part have absolutely no feelings of love in their hearts and especially towards my mother. No matter how much destruction they create in their lives and the lives of my immediate family mother is still there, giving and giving all of herself. I am afraid for her and my fear vacillates between anger and irritation. I see her so sad and worn but still she continues. Martyrdom is the only word that sums it up for me.

I've had to learn that giving all of yourself without a healthy balance of receiving leaves you out of balance. Life/energy balance. While I have not always found balance in work and my own personal life, it is constantly at the forefront of my thoughts. I've had to learn to say "no thank you" to people and things that were not in line with my spirit. It's not an on/off switch but I believe the more aware one is of their boundaries, life will be better for all of those involved even if it seems like tough love is leading the way. The Law of Allowance- yet another strong life pill to use on the road to self mastery. I do not like how my sister and nephew use up my mother. But I have to allow my mother her own life lesson with them. My mother is a very strong woman with a huge, generous heart. Yet another fantastic trait of my grandmother and one I have had the good fortune of inheriting. Allowing; that has become a tough practice, something I wish was inherited. In those moments of bliss when I am totally happy, my divine feminine and masculine spirits are cooperating with one another, my boundaries are strong and I am giving and receiving equally, the feeling is like heaven on earth. My challenge is staying in pocket with this alignment and never letting outside circumstances- people, places or low vibration energies to pull me out of bliss. I've yet to master this as an every day occurrence but every day I work to make this just as effortless as I can. So on this day of celebrating the spirit of my grandmother Marie, I send divine feminine energy to all.

Sending love and light to my grandmother, my mother and sister always.

Love and light to all of you

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Genesis Chapter 1 Verse 1: In The Beginning...

In the beginning there was The Cold Crush Brothers, Eddie Cheeba and Kool Herc. Then God said, let there be Sugarhill Gang, Funky Four Plus 1 More and Kurtis Blow. Now I feel like I'm supposed to have say something even more clever to write after this stellar opening but honestly its all I got right now.

The idea of this blog has come from my slow but steady pursuit of having an outlet of creative expression coupled with exercising my discipline to write. As you can probably tell by now I am a product of the Hip Hop generation- the OG generation. So I should really start this masterpiece with, "In the beginning was mommy and daddy and on November 19, 1970 I was born. Their "us" became "we" and by 1979 I fell in love with Prince and hip hop." My dad is a music enthusiast and it was through his eclectic tastes that I learned of The Eagles, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, John Coltrane and more. My mother, never wavering in her music selections, introduced me to the world of Doo Wop, the Motown sound and the blues. But it was my older sister who brought hip hop home in 1978. This is my earliest recollection.

Years went by and my love for music grew as I did but as a teenager in the '80's hip hop was my constant. So much so that my first internship in college was working for Luke Records in Miami, FL the summer of 1990. After a small stint in the corporate world, I landed a job in Los Angeles at the then infamous Priority Records-home of the "out-lawed" gangsta rap sound. Sixteen years later and almost 40 years old, I look back on my young adult life as fun, exciting and gratifying. Now at the cross roads of changing my life and career, music has now found a different seat on the Dana bus- no longer driving but still riding.

Lauryn Hill recorded one of my favorite songs. I have many, especially when it comes to hip hop but this one is special because it came at a time in my life when I needed it most. Even though I have had the pleasure to work with her recently, she still has no idea how her art encouraged me through a challenging time. "Everything Is Everything" is track 13 on her multi-Grammy winning classic THE MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL. In 1999, I was miserable and burned out about my job at Priority. My very loving relationship with my boyfriend was coming to an end and I was terrified to make decisions to end them both. A friend who was an executive at Vibe Magazine at the time had mailed me a copy of the record. Sitting in my self-imposed prison at the office after hours, this song came on and changed me instantly. I found strength in the words. I thought she wrote the song just for me. On more than one occasion, I really thought that she did. Within 2 months my relationship ended and I had quit my job. Life seemed to be working in my favor again. Even though the storm wasn't over, change had allowed me to find more courage and to breathe a little deeper. Exactly the two things I needed in the following months as the winds of change turned into a hurricane. But that's another story. So whenever I smell change in the air or if I'm smack in the middle of life's upheavals, I put this song on repeat until the quiet returns.

So as I've grown as a human being, fundamentally my life has changed. What I used to think was important, how I love and treat myself, how I love and treat others are just a few things that have dramatically taken on a new landscape in my life. My connection to Spirit has profoundly impacted my decisions and what motivates me comes from a much more awake state of being. Thus, giving birth to the name of this blog. This is not designed to be my soapbox for politics, music or religion but a place of honest expression about my life and how I see the world. My goal is that as I write for my own cathartic purpose, that my words, my art, will positively touch the lives of those who find their way to this page. I am hip hop and this blog is my scripture.

Love and light to all